


I Fall For The Same Face Every Time (DISCONTINUED)

by afvcso



Category: Panic! at the Disco
Genre: M/M, No Smut
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-05-13
Updated: 2018-05-14
Packaged: 2019-05-06 01:26:45
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,278
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14631198
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/afvcso/pseuds/afvcso
Summary: Brendon Urie and Ryan Ross are former lovers. They were hopelessly in love until something happened. Brendon left without warning. Now, three years later, their lives have changed. Ryan has a music career. Brendon has a daughter. What happens when Ryan accidentally bumps into the two at a show? Will they remember their love for each other? Or will Brendon run away again?





	1. The Mess

Ryan woke up and looked around. It was odd for him to be alone in the mornings. He was used to waking up to Brendon’s lips against his or roaming elsewhere. Maybe Brendon was just downstairs with the dogs. Ryan was sure that was it. He looked around the room, noticing a piece of paper on the bedside table. His eyebrows furrowed as he reached over to grab it before unfolding it and reading what was written.

_‘Ryan,_

_Before I say anything else, I just want you to know that I love you. I’m so in love with you that it’s crazy. I’m sure you’ve noticed by now that I’m gone. I decided that it was for the best. I’m not in a good mental state because I’m pretty sure that I’m holding you back from what you want. I want you to follow your dream, Ryan. I’ll be happy when I see you going on tour and playing shows around the world. Please pursue your music career. I know that’s what you want and that I was holding you back from that. Hopefully, with me gone you’ll be able to concentrate on it more. Please, just remember that I’m doing this because I love you, Okay?_

_Love,_  
_Brendon'_

Ryan’s eyes widened as he read the letter. This couldn’t be happening. He immediately grabbed his phone and dialed Brendon’s number. It rang and rang and rang. He didn't pick up. The shock that Ryan felt soon turned to anger, which quickly turned to tears.

“No, you can’t be gone. This has to be some type of joke.” Ryan mumbled to himself in denial, pushing a hand through his hair and wiping the tears from his face. He couldn’t cry. Crying would make him seem weak. He didn’t want to admit that he was weak. Nevertheless, he still cried. It wasn’t like he really could stop it. Brendon was the love of his life, the man he wanted to spend the rest of his life with, and now he’s gone. Just like that. Ryan would never have thought that this would ever happen. Hot tears continued to stream down his face, not stopping until Ryan eventually fell asleep again. Even then, they weren’t completely gone.

-

Ryan woke hours later to one of his dogs, Dottie, jumping on top of him to get his attention. He’d then realized that he never let them out and fed them that morning, so that was what he did. After that, he did nothing for the rest of the day. He didn’t eat. He didn’t leave the house. He just stayed there, cuddling with the four dogs that they had. If he were honest, Ryan was surprised that Brendon didn’t take Penny and Bogart. They were his babies, just like Dottie and Elwood were Ryan’s.

Needless to say, Ryan got depressed. He didn’t leave the house unless he needed to. The only time he really even left his room was when he had to eat or take care of the dogs. He pretty much had everything else that he needed anyway. He had a connected bathroom and a bed that still had Brendon’s scent on it. He was being a bit dramatic, but who wouldn’t in that situation?

-

Eventually, Ryan decided to stop moping around and do something with his life. He called someone he could trust, his best friend Spencer Smith, and decided to get back up on his feet.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, this is my first fic written on AO3. I used to write on Wattpad, but I'm now not allowed to be on Wattpad. I'm pretty upset about that, but I'm excited to share my work on different platforms as well! A few of my completed Wattpad fics are going to be transferred here, so check them out when I eventually post them! If you want, you can also check out my Instagram for Panic!/Ryan memes and stuff like that. My username is @Crashh.Bangg.Smokee! Also, I'm really sorry about the length of this. The next chapters will hopefully be longer. Anyways, I hope you enjoyed reading this!
> 
> ~Hannah


	2. Change

Ryan looked over at the blonde next to him with a smile. The two of them were performing at a small venue in Los Angeles since they were on tour with a band that had a larger fan base than them. The blonde? Her name was Elizabeth, but she preferred to be called Z. Z had helped Ryan a lot in the past three years. People often thought that they were a couple. But little did they know, Ryan was gay as hell and Z isn’t exactly the straightest person either. The two were pretty much best friends.

In the back was a Spencer Smith on drums and then a Jon Walker off to the side on bass. Ryan played guitar and did some vocals while Z sang. Their band wasn’t bad at all. They were somewhat well known, but not enough to headline their own tour.

“And for our last song, it’s a tradition for every time we play a show. This one is going to be sung by my good friend, Ryan Ross.” Z smiled and looked over at Ryan. “This isn’t our original song, it’s Ariana Grande’s, so all credit to her.” Z let out a small chuckle.

Ryan let out a chuckle as well. He ran a hand through his hair and took a deep breath before speaking. “This song is for a certain person. They know who they are.” His voice was a bit shaky, as it always was at this time. Truth be told, he never was truly over the breakup. Therefore, he always dedicated a song to Brendon just in case he was there.

Z walked over to Ryan and leaned closer to him. “You’ll be fine.” She said like she did every other night.

Ryan nodded and smiled weakly at her. He usually wasn’t this nervous. It was almost as if fate was telling him that tonight was different. He, once again, took a deep breath, his heart beating out of his chest. “I’ve cried enough tears to see my own reflection in them.” He started, his voice still shaky. His voice didn’t quite fit how the song originally went, but he somehow made it work with how he was singing it. “And then it was clear. I can’t deny, I really miss him.” He continued, tears rolling down his cheek. He always cried during this song.

Z bit her lip softly. She could tell that Ryan was off. She walked over next to him and whispered to him. “You going to be able to make it through?” When Ryan nodded, she sighed softly and nodded before walking away.

-

Ryan still had tears rapidly streaming down his face as they exited the stage. No matter how much he tried to wipe his face, the tears kept coming.

Z, on the other hand, was frowning. Ryan never cried this much after a show. Something had to be bothering him. “Ry, you okay?” She asked softly, walking over to him, “You never cry this much.”

Ryan’s voice was barely there when he answered her. “I saw him.” He focused on his breathing. He saw him. He saw the love of his life after three years. “I need to talk to him.”

Z bit her lip. “Ry, I’m not sure if that’s a good idea. What if he says something that leaves you more broken than you already are?”

“I’ll be fine. I just need to talk to him. To know that he’s just as broken as me.” Ryan mumbled in reply, shaking his head. Without even waiting for Z to reply again, he walked out from backstage and immediately started to scan the room for the familiar face, mumbling Brendon’s name repeatedly as he did so. All of a sudden, he spotted him. At that moment, they were the only two people in the room. The only two in the world, even.

“Ryan?” A confused voice said. Ryan recognized it immediately as he looked up. There he was. Brendon Urie.

“B-Brendon.” Ryan’s eyes widened slightly. “You’re here.” He ran a hand through his hair. This almost wasn’t real.

“Yeah, I am,” Brendon replied with a nod and chuckle that almost sounded forced, or maybe it was just a bit shocked.

“It’s been too long,” Ryan mumbled with a sigh. “You, uh, want to go somewhere quieter? Then we can, you know, talk.” Maybe they’d just talk. Maybe, if fate was on Ryan’s side, they’d do more than talk.

“Yeah, yeah. That sounds good.” He nodded and ran a hand through his hair. Brendon then followed Ryan out to what apparently was their tour bus.

Ryan opened the door to the bus and let him inside. “You want anything to drink?” He asked curiously. “We have a beer, vodka, coke. Whatever you want really.” He shrugged.

“Beer is fine,” Brendon replied with a shrug. He thanked Ryan when a beer was handed to him. “So, It’s been a while.” He sighed softly and frowned a bit.

“Yeah. It’s been way too long.” Ryan mumbled in reply. He took a deep breath before continuing. “Why’d you leave? You left me so… so broken, and I can’t say that I’m completely over it. I’m sure you’ve moved on already and I’m still dwelling in the past, but I’m so happy to finally see you again- and I’m rambling.” He sighed and shook his head.

“No, I get it. If I’m honest, I’m not over it either. I have moved on to other things, though, just like you’ve moved on to different things in life.” Brendon replied before taking a sip from the bottle.

Ryan nodded. “Yeah, but I haven’t moved on relationship-wise.” He sighed softly. “I haven’t had a relationship since I was with you.”

“What about that blonde? Aren’t you two together?” Brendon asked, furrowing his eyebrows.

Ryan almost laughs. Almost. “Me and Z? Not at all! You know that I’m the gayest person ever.” He then actually let out a chuckle. “She’s my best friend.” He shrugged.

Brendon nodded, making a face where his mouth literally looked like an O. “Oh, okay. That makes a lot more sense.” He chuckled a bit. “You know, I can’t say that I’ve been with anyone either.” He sighed softly. “I’m not even sure if I want another relationship with everything I have going on now.” He shrugged.

Ryan nodded in agreement. “Yeah, I feel you. It would be hard, especially if we start touring more.” He sighed and ran a hand through his hair before taking a sip from his own bottle.

Brendon nodded as well. “Yeah. For me, it would be hard to find a sitter.” He replied with a small shrug.

Ryan’s eyes widened. A sitter? What the hell was Brendon talking about? “A sitter?” He asked in confusion. “Why would you need a sitter?” It wasn’t like Brendon had a kid, right? Maybe it was a dog-sitter. It had to be, right?

“Oh! I never told you.” Brendon chuckled nervously. “I have a daughter. Her name’s Renee, and she’s the best part of my life.” The man was practically beaming like this was the proudest moment of his life.

Ryan smiled slightly. It was forced, but he still smiled. “I bet she’s beautiful.” He commented. He really was sure that she was beautiful, though. Any offspring of Brendon had to be beautiful. “Is she biologically yours?” He asked with a hint of curiosity laced in his tone.

Brendon grinned and nodded. “Yep! She’s all mine!” He paused for a second. “Well, half-mine technically.” He shrugged. “She still looks a lot like her mother, but that’s okay. Her mother is gorgeous.”

Ryan felt a tinge of jealousy, but he tried to ignore it. He nodded. “Well, she has to be gorgeous if she has two beautiful parents.” He chuckled a bit. “I mean, it’s not like I’ve seen her mom, but I’ll take your word that she’s gorgeous.”

“Yeah, Sarah’s great.” He ran a hand through his hair. “We’re really good friends since she’ll still want to see Renee and everything. I would never completely shut her out of her life.”

“Yeah, I get it.” Ryan nodded. “So, other than you having a daughter, what else has changed?” He asked curiously.

“Nothing really. I haven’t even gotten any more dogs. Nobody can replace Penny and Bogart. How are they doing, by the way?” Brendon replied.

“They’re doing good.” Ryan nodded. “They still obviously miss you.” He sighed before quietly adding, “We all do.”

Brendon sighed softly and looked down at the ground. “Yeah, I miss you all, too.” He mumbled before lifting his head to look at Ryan again. “Maybe when you’re done touring, we can hang out? You can see Renee, and I can see the dogs?” He suggested.

A small smile spread across Ryan’s face. “Yeah. I’d like that. I’m sure the dogs would, too.” He replied. “Do you still have the same number?”

“Yeah.” Brendon nodded. “Do you?” When Ryan nodded, he smiled a bit more. “Awesome.” The two had subconsciously gotten closer to where their faces were only centimeters away. If Ryan wanted to, he could just lean in a little more and close the space between their lips.

And then, at that moment, the door to the bus opened. The two immediately sprung apart. It wasn’t subtle at all, but they liked to think that it was.

“Hey, guys.” Z greeted, looking at Ryan with a smirk decorated on her lips. “Whatcha doing?” She asked.

“Oh, uh, just talking,” Ryan replied, chuckling nervously and pushing a hand through his hair. His cheeks were tinted crimson, and there was no way to hide it.

Brendon immediately nodded in agreement, his cheeks the same color as Ryan’s. “Yep, just talking.” He agreed before finishing off his beer. “Well, I should probably get home. I don’t want to make Sarah have to look after Renee for too long. It was nice seeing you again, Ryan.” He said before bolting out of the bus.

Ryan let out a heavy sigh and looked at Z. Everything had gone better than he expected, at least, until the end.

“Tell. Me. Everything.” Z demanded, a wide smirk still on her face.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, this chapter is A LOT longer. I wrote this all in a day, and I'm honestly really proud of it! I've had a lot of inspiration for this book already, and I can tell that it's going to be great! Anyway, thanks for reading!
> 
> ~Hannah


End file.
